Help Me

Savoring my days with this little sweet heart. I was in the kitchen this morning and heard her whimpering in my bedroom followed by her little voice that seemed to say, "Help me!" Her hands were filled with her special Bullseye horse and probably three pacifiers she wouldn't relinquish with half her body hanging off the bed. Usually she'd use her hands to grip the sheets and slowly lower herself down but with her hands filled she was stuck and needed help.
Her situation pretty much explains my life for the last while. I know how to do things or why I need to do things but I often feel stuck or have a firm hold on things I don't want to give up to achieve what I want.
One example is that I get discouraged every Sunday when I try on my church dresses and only my pregnancy skirt fits from my recent miscarriage. It's silly that this simple thing sends me off in such deep discouragement and dislike of my body I'm going to church to thank my Lord for giving me, sustaining me, and allowing me to one day resurrect. My mind knows that life extends much further than the physical stretch. It's in the moments I help Heidi out of her predicaments, the dinners we share as a family, the stories Jesse tells me that make me fall in love with him all over again. I know I'm so blessed to live the life I do. I'm so aware of that. But I also acknowledge the various insecurities I also harbor and attempt to figure out. I hope I have a long life to do exactly that.

Comments

  1. Clothes not fitting when you want to look nice and put together are hard moments. And heavy is the battle of finding self-acceptance- especially in regards to body image. I think digs into our insecurities is one of Satan's great tools with women like you and I who deeply desire to do our best. Also, Kelly told me recently that anxiety makes it hard to see things as they really are - your beautiful body, the impact of all your efforts and desires, the fact that you're already living a consecreted life. Heavenly Father can and will help you and I in our battles as we turn to Him- especially this one. I read this this morning: "God commandeth His love toward us..." (Romans 5:8). The verses that follow expound that its through our Savior that happens... anyway. I love you. Here's a good verse to ponder on too (as I'm doing today): Job 22:21

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    1. I'm just now seeing this comment full of wisdom and kindness and LOVE! Thank you for that. Words to ponder, for sure. xo

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